Day 62 – More Power to You

“Originally, the word power meant able to be.  In time, it was contracted to mean to be able.  We suffer the difference.”

My career began as a Typist Clerk II and after many years and two degrees later I’ve become an HR Manager, but I still feel as though there should be something else…the question is what?  Yes, I’m in a position of power / management, but ultimately I feel and know that this is not where I want to be. 

“…as the wish for more always issues from a sense of lack.  So the wish for more power really issues from a sense of powerlessness.”

I don’t want more power, I want to be in a position to help people, but I have to question in what capacity can I do that in my current position.  I’ve worked so hard to get here…do I just walk away…can I afford to?

“Clearly, the worst position of all is being King of the Hill.  You are completely alone and paranoid, never able to trust anyone, constantly forced to spin and guard every direction.  The hills may change from a job to a woman to a prized piece of real estate, but those on top can be so enslaved by guarding their position that they rarely enjoy the view.”

I am at an age and time in my life where I realize what’s important…it’s taken me a while to get here, but I’m finally here…now what?

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Day 61 – The One Direction

“Live deep enough and there is only one direction.”

If I had to meditate on one recent moment of lightheartednes I have felt it was watching my boys play outside of the home we own, what a blessing.

If I were to meditate on one recent moment of lightheartiness I witnessed in a loved one or friend, I would have to reflect on a friend who was extremely nervous about meeting a girlfriends parents…after discussing this for a few days, my friend eventually came to their senses and realized this was completely out of their control and worrying was not going to affect the outcome either way.

Two moments of light heartedness no matter how different are essentially the same…

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Day 60 – Who’s to Say

“Who’s to say the effort to be real isn’t the beginning of wings?”

I’m on my journey to free “me”…to live a better more true existence, to release burdens and find the peace that God has for me…

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Day 59 – The Stones at Chimayo

“I’d rather learn from one bird how to sind than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance.–E.E. Cummings”

Something heavy within me that seems to be in the way is my ability to step out on faith.  I believe I know what I’m supposed to be doing but I haven’t been able to (…actually I’m able to, it’s a matter of doing)!!  I have to break the habit of critizcizing myself

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Day 58 – The Ropes and Wheels That Carry Us

“Beauty is Truth, Truth Beauty–that is all you know on earth, and all you need to know.–John Keats”

I must remember that even in the harshest of situations, to look for the truth and beauty.  By beauty I mean acknowledging the truth of the situation and learning from it…there is definite beauty in truth.

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Day 57 – At the Pace of What is Real

“Stop talking, stop thinking, and there is nothing you will not understand.–Seng-Ts’an”

If only I could do these two things at the same time…stop talking and stop thinking.  Sure I can make myself stop talking, but to make myslef stop thinking takes more than a little effort.  My mind is always going and recently I changed jobs so I’m a little unsure of my role in this new position and my mind is constantly going in 50 directions at once, even when I’m supposed to be at rest.

“It seems we run our lives like trains, speeding along a track laid down by others, going so fast that what we pass blurs on by.”

Sometimes I look back and can understand or recall how I’ve gotten to where I am…why?  Becasue  I have been moving at warp speed.  My goal from this point forward is to take time to enjoy and experience the journey.

“I will pass by everything–can put it all on my resume–but will have experienced and lived through nothing.”

We have to make sure we take time to smell the roses…

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Day 56 – Cutting a Path

“No matter where we dig or climb, we come upon the fire we left untended”

Yes, we always come upon the fire we left untended.  I am currently in a situation that I’ve been in many times before, so I must stay and learn the lesson that needs to be learned so I don’t have to revisit this place again. 

“For all the seriousness with which we run about in the world–fixing, denying, projecting, and sacrificing–for all the schemes and strategies and alliances and positioning for reward, it is all an unreal dream to the center of our being that waits for us far inside while we hack our way through.

My true self is always there…waiting for me, so I must continue on this path to forever be my true self.

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Day 55 – Behind the Urgency

“When feeling urgent, you must slow down.”

This is a difficult one for me, I literally must remind myself to slow down.  I sometimes find myself questioning others about their lack of “sense of urgency”.  Sometimes I feel as if I’m traveling at warp speed. 

“For all the seriousness with which we run about in the world–fixing, denying, projecting, and sacrificing–for all the schemes and strategies and alliances and positioning for reward, it is all an unreal dream to the center of our being that waits for us far inside while we hack our way through.”

If I’m not mindful to slow down, I will miss the experiences of my life.  Sometimes I need to drop a few items at the door and actually “experience” my life.

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Day 54 – To Hold Nothing Back

“To hold nothing back in every breath is a spiritual practice.”

I find myself holding back from myself about my feelings, I pretend it’s okay, I pretend it’s all good…when the reality is that I’m upset or discouraged by something that has occurred.  I usually give myself a pep talk and move on or at least I pretend to move on, when in reality I dwell on things and beat myself up about things.

“To hold nothing back in every breath means staying committed to letting whatever we experience make its way in and letting whatever is in make its way out.”

I am making the choice to hold nothing back!

“Letting things in, feeling their impact, and, in turn, letting things out, expressing cleanly what we feel, is a spiritual practice that rinses the mind and heart.”

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Day 53 – Opposing Voices

“Let the opposing voices in your head speak.  They are only finding their part in a larger, yet-to-be-heard song.”

I’m always trying to make sense of things, always trying to figure out WHY…WHY would this happen, why would this person behave that way, why would the politician behave in that manner…WHY

“Often, confusion is the tension of trying to make sense of things too soon, before enough of the inner players have learned their parts.”

Being patient, having the wisdom to wait, that is the path I must take…

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